Old Friends

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DON'T GO TO A SCHOOL REUNION 6 THERE'LL ...

 

For this week’s midweek piece I thought I’d dip into John Holton’s Writer’s Workshop, as it has been more than a month since I last did so, with my post 6-1 about the last live sporting event I attended. As usual, John has given us a selection of six topics from which to choose and I’m going with his #1 – “write a post based on the word reunion.”

It is probably not a coincidence that the reunion I have chosen to write about also involved a football match – anyone would think I follow the game closely! They would be right, of course. You need some background for it, though. I haven’t said much about it here, but my wife and I separated in 2007 and our decree absolute came into effect in January 2008. I moved out of the family home into a flat and things settled down into a new routine. The following Christmas I realised that I would be sending cards to many people who wouldn’t know about the split or my new address, so for once in my life I got sufficiently organised to do one of the most boring tasks imaginable more promptly than before, and sent out my cards in early December. With them, for the first and only time ever, I included one of those awful round robin newsletters – you know the thing, don’t you: “we’re doing fabulously well, our kids are beautiful, talented and incredibly successful, and you should all feel very jealous of our idyllic life.” Only this one was a little different. I realised that I had a lot of catching up to do: many of the recipients wouldn’t have known about our divorce, or the fact that I had changed employer since leaving university some 33 years prior, and the response from many was surprise!

One of the things I mentioned was that despite having lived away from my home town – Dover – since 1970 I still followed the football team I had grown up with, and was planning to go to see them when they played away at Harlow Town, near where I lived, the following February. I asked if anyone was planning on going to the game, and an old school friend, Richard, replied that he’d like to come. He had moved away from Dover into north Kent, so it was a fairly short journey for him. I’ve never been good at keeping friends from a particular setting – I just move on and make new ones – so his response was very welcome. The day, 21 Feb 2009, duly came, and Richard arrived at my flat in plenty of time for a chat before we drove over for the game. It was great to catch up and share our memories. In school days we had played in sports teams together, spent many happy hours in the Prefects’ Room putting the world and the school to rights, and had been regular bridge partners, often playing against another pair of friends at each other’s homes – with suitable refreshments provided by our Mums. Richard also remarked that he recalled my being a huge fan of The Moody Blues, so he had been playing their CDs in the car on the way up. Music and football: two things which shape and bind us!

 

9.12.2008. Dover Athletic v Harlow Town, (Ryman Premier). - Picture 1 of 2

Not the game we attended – the reverse fixture that season. Closest I could find!

It was a very enjoyable game: Dover Athletic won 4-1, on the way to winning the league that season by a 22 point margin, while poor Harlow Town were relegated, a mere 62 points behind us. Not only did we enjoy each others’ company but we also managed a brief chat – well, a shout, really – with another schoolfriend who at that time was the team’s kitman. I think he was surprised to see old schoolmates so far from home, but was dragged away by the manager to get on with his job: a voluntary role, as were many at that level, with teams struggling to survive on shoestring budgets. Dover were promoted again a few years later but then fell on hard times, culminating in the most recent relegation last year back to the level at which this game was played – what is known as Tier 3 in England’s non-league set up. After only one season we won the promotion playoffs final last Monday, so will be playing at Tier 2 again next season. Harlow Town have fared much worse, sadly – the club folded completely some years ago but has been reborn at a much lower level. They have just won their league – at Tier 10 – so hopefully things are at long last looking up for them. A town of 80,000 people deserves to have a decent football team to unite around.

The best part of this is that Richard and I have kept in much closer touch. He has been to see me on several occasions since then – I don’t have transport so can’t really get out – and we use WhatsApp regularly. As well as Dover Athletic we both support Tottenham Hotspur and Kent County Cricket Club, so we have a lot to talk about, as well as sharing family updates and comments on other things – those putting the world to rights habits die hard. No doubt we’ll be messaging this evening while Spurs are doing their best to hang on to a slim advantage in the Europa League semi-final second leg, though I don’t think either of us is too confident! Is one success this week all we are going to get? Fingers crossed for a second!

All joking aside, my reunion with Richard has given me a lot, and I’m glad that it has. We all need friends, don’t we?

 

39 thoughts on “Old Friends”

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  4. It is sad and strange that best of school friends are hard to keep over time. Time, tide and travel, new jobs, new partners they all add to the slow drift away from ‘friends for life.’ I have one friend from high school days that I see now and then. It’s a lasting friendship, once back yakking about sport and (more likely) music its an easy and very much both at ease friendship.

    And so, on the the farce of the Europa League results. Who’d have thunk it would end up a Spurs v United final? Let’s not fall out over which team is low enough on the domestic table to claim they are the underdog for the one Cup that might- might- rescue a terribly tarnished season for either club? Can we agree both are absurdly lucky to be in the final? And why is Beck’s ‘Loser’ playing in my mind just thinking about it?

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    • Friendships like those are to be cherished, aren’t they. I’m glad you have one too.

      I disagree on the teams being lucky to be in the final. They have both earned it through their results in the competition, despite their appalling league form. Seville won it some years ago from a similar league position and I don’t remember Arsenal Wenger moaning about it!

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  6. Haven’t heard this for years!
    I wasn’t invited to my grammar school reunion of class ’72, and I only heard about it as one of the messengers at the bank happened to be the father of one of my class mates. I admit I was a little bemused as my maiden name was unusual and there was only one in the phone book (my parents). I did learn a lot about the girls in my year from the minutes he brought in for me: the class favourite with the budding career was expecting her fifth or sixth child, one had been killed in a car accident, and the one who was the subject of my post for John’s workshop prompts this week was the mother of four, one of which had died, and two others had serious health issues, which I was sorry to hear. She didn’t deserve any of that.

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  7. I am still good friends with one girl from junior school. We wrote to each other when my family emigrated to Australia. Strangely at school she was closer friends with the girls whose mothers were all friends with hers, while my best friend round the corner went to a different school and we didn’t keep up with each other. When I arrived back in England for my six month working holiday that I’m still on, ha ha, her family took me in. We both appreciate having someone who remembers our days at St. Peters!

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    • Thank you, Nancy, I’m pleased you liked the message in this.

      I doubt that song was known over there. It made #8 here early in 1970, helped by my purchase. Dyan Birch, the lead singer, had a powerful voice!

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  9. A great post. Brought smiles to my heart. We definitely do need friends and I am glad that you were able to reunite with Richard and have a good time!

    The “Red Robin letter” made me laugh for I know exactly what you mean. There was a year that a lot was going on with both of our children. It was stressful and during a conversation that my husband and I were having I remember giving him the version of the Christmas letter that I thought of writing. It lightened the moment. 🙂

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    • Thank you, Willow. We’ve known each other for 60 years so it’s good that we are still friends.

      That is a largely forgotten song, but I remember buying the single back in the day. Dyan Birch was a powerhouse of a singer.

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    • It was, thank you, and to prove it he has just messaged me about the England cricket team! He doesn’t read my blog so he won’t see this.

      I’ve never been near a school reunion though I did go back to uni for the 50th anniversary, having been there at the time of the 10th. Didn’t see anyone I knew!

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